I wasn't going to put this here, but maybe the five of you who watch me can help me with this. Copy pasta activate:

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I'm embarrassed to post this on my actual blog for some reason, so you poor LJ/DA folk are going to get it exclusive.

I was working on my TF Art Jam submission and I realized something: I can't draw anymore.

Correction: every finished fan art piece I have done in the last year, I hate. With a fiery passion. My professional pieces? Made of awesome. That silly little doodle of myself that I did for the room meme? Awesome. My attempt at robot/joe/other character final pieces? Heartbreaking. Absolutely heartbreaking. What confuses the tar out of me is that I like my fan art sketches more than my finished fan art pieces. Example: the Roboepiphany concept lineart is done but I personally feel like it's shit, so I haven't uploaded it. Every couple of days, I'll reload it and hide the lineart layer and sigh in relief. The process has been so disappointing that I don't even think I'm going to attempt to take it to canvas.

I know I have a hard time with lineart when it's not on physical paper (for whatever reason). Maybe I need to fix that and just buy an actual sketchbook and leave the tablet alone on that step, even if it's illogical that I have this issue in the first place. I also have a digital coloring issue. I know I can color with a tablet (granted, it's not the best ever), I have done it before, but apply it to fan art? Gone. Why? I just don't understand.

Why I am caring so much about this when I know I need to be focusing on my original stuff (PAINT MOAR PLS), I'm not quite sure. Maybe I should just give it up completely and stick to paintbrushes and pastel blocks. Hell, Watermus Prime and the Jetwins looked better than all the shit I've crank out on my tablet, and that's about as silly as you can get.

I don't think I'll finish the art jam sub. Either that, or try a different format before I throw my tabletpc out the window.

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And for the couple that will ask, my LJ is here. Just drop me a line.